16. man is a jerk – aristotle
Is there life before death? Can I commit my life to anything? Is life
worth saving?
Men have been trying to get at the heart of these matters ever since
they started naming everything around them. Better to understand it
than to fear it. Unfortunately, by the time it got to Aristotle the
more they discovered, the more they feared. Long before there was
pollution, there were people in africa who tried to make some sense
of the world around them. They began to see a certain dichotomy in
all things around them: female and male, night and day, good and bad.
Since then, the egyptians, greeks, romans, jews, christians, and
muslims have been monopolizing and screwing up these facts.
The africans were the first who made the sun a god and the moon a
pussy. They figured out the difference between a star and a planet,
and counted four orbiting in the heavens. They suspected a few
neuters not seen by the naked eye, but not until the middle of his
sixteenth century, with the invention of a telescope did the
europeans uncover their presence.
To the nine planets the africans attributed the basic human
characteristics: happy talk, love, art and beauty, home, verve,
knowledge and power, justice, consciousness, unconsciousness
and the underworld.
Because the first planet spins around the sun so often, to him are
attributed the characteristics of socialness, open-mindedness and
willingness to bridge gaps. By communicating, we learn. This in turn
stimulates thinking. Thinking is the easiest and most cost effective
form of entertainment. It’s a wonder that it is so seldom used
nowadays. However, gossip, lies, videos and undelivered messages
are the flip side of this planet’s attributes. If he is so bent, he could
stir up a lot of trouble as he spun around the heavens. Everyone has
been smitten by a remark carelessly made. Of course, talk is cheap.
La dolce vita. But we often forget that fact.
She is the first to appear in the heavens, and the last to leave. She
is love and shrouded in beauty and art. Beauty is in the eye of the
beholder and art happens because we are all artists in the creative
network of society. When she is not around, we feel empty, lonely,
worthless and depressed.
Home is a place to hang our hat. It is where our heart takes our
horse and where the gods come to play. At home, we can chill out,
sleep, make whoopee, take a shower and have a bite to eat.
Unfortunately, we have stuffed our homes with so many distractions
that we never get around to the good things a home can provide.
Fire is where the association is drawn for our next planet. It is his
energy that reduces wood to ash yet makes a hot pot of tea. It is the
drive that keeps the wheels of industry turning providing us with
shopping malls. It is war, what boys do when they don’t get their
way. If they can’t have all the toys, they destroy their rivals, thus
cutting off their dick to spite their sex. He is the loneliest of the
gods because of these tantrums. And only love, art and beauty can
get him to calm down.
The next planet protects the other five with his size. Because of his
impartiality as to which comets get past, it is determined that he
has a sense of justice. He knows everything and is therefore wise. He
doles out lessons to be learned. We call it fate. Ever since
institutionalized religions sprang out of the loins of mortal men,
they have each tried to lay sole claim to this planet’s attributes.
The planet with the hula-hoops spun pretty in the night sky might not
know everything but he controls information, which meant he is
actively in charge. If money cannot buy us love, it can buy us power
and we can look good doing it.
What we are aware of and how we know our anus is the attribute of our
next planet. This is a world of androgyny. It is the eternal quest,
our desire to explore the unknown, to probe further, to go where no
transporter can ever beam us back.
The second sexless wonder is out of sight, out of mind. Since we did
not swim in the heavens, just float in the big blue, no one really
understood what this god did. Rarely called upon unless dramatic
changes are required, this planet claims whatever goes to the bottom
of the id.
Last but not least, the amusement park for the entire family. The
place to go where we either ride the perpetual roller coaster or are
constantly thrilled to see a favorite cartoon character who suddenly
appears from out of nowhere. There is no yesterday and no tomorrow.
We have often said to ourselves that there is nothing bad about free
candy. Obviously, we cannot imagine paradise forever.
Today, these forces have been reduced to sexless gods with names like
UPS, Mary Kate, Realife, Lockheed, The Praise The Lord Club, Megahard,
Nasa, Princess Cruise and Disneyland. Of course, the africans gave them
other names and so did the romans and greeks. But that was a long
time ago, before there were inventions, pollution and other new
things. Their gods did not win and we have been telling a different
story ever since.
Indeed, Aristotle was correct: man is a jerk.
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